jonas / allstarz

[refractures]

fishes out my dissertation about how these two are so funny in juxtaposition

Comments

[refractures]

It's incredibly burdensome.

[ He sighs. Oog. His fuckin lungs. ]

But that's me, making big fusses about the small things like photos and videos too.

[sixam]

[ sir, your lungs... ]

Big fusses as in you don't like being in them?

[refractures]

I have half a mind to burn them on the spot.

[sixam]

And why is that?

[refractures]

I said my reason, didn't I?

[ A small smile. ]

Just the act of taking a picture is socially accepted as normal, so refusing it or making a big deal about it gets disapproval because I'm refusing something that is easily accepted by others. Because of that, my preferences are easily brushed off and sometimes made to fit the mold, such as editing me inside the photo.

People, things, and values don't need to be understood to be respected.

[sixam]

It's about the autonomy and making your own choice. [ wait. maybe he does kind of get the point. ] Even if you don't explain why you don't want to be in pictures or why you don't want to ask for help, it's the principle of people letting you as a sign of respect and not prying. So it's "burdensome" to have to entertain people trying to help because they're missing the point that you would rather pull yourself back together yourself first and then ask if that seems to be impossible, or until further notice.

... or maybe something like that?

[refractures]

Something like that~

Respect also has to be earned, but I don't try earning it from people I don't really care about.

[ Seo, that's. That's probably the problem. ]

Maybe I should be a comedian with how I'm entertaining people all the time.

[sixam]

I guess there's nothing wrong with that? It's your time, so why waste it on something you might not want to do with people you don't like? [ like. can't relate because he likes people generally, but still. ]

You know if you didn't want my company though you can just say so. I'd get it.

[refractures]

[ Seo laughs a little. His fuckin lungs. It almost sounds like a whistle. ]

Well, Jonas.

[ He smiles. ]

I have nothing but time to waste. I have so much time... would it really be a waste if I had something limitless and squandered it as much as I pleased? Though I don't think of our conversations as a waste. In fact... I enjoy talking to you. So why do you think I don't want your company?

[sixam]

I think only you can decide what is and isn't a waste. I wouldn't call our conversations a waste. I actually like talking to you, too. [ despite. everyone. telling him how annoying they find the man. ]

It's less about thinking you don't and more about giving you the option. I would never force my presence on someone who actually doesn't want it. We'll call it a bit of boundaries. While sometimes a person can enjoy someone's company, circumstances can always change.

[refractures]

[ They are absolutely right for finding Seodore extremely annoying. ]

Yes. I would know that well, actually.

[ He laughs a little, but it sounds emptier than usual. His tone doesn't stay that way though. ]

Sometimes you aren't given the choice, so you'll have to talk to people that you find quite irritating... like me.

[ And his business stuff. ]

Being an adult means you have to do things you don't want to do all the time, unless you're crafty enough to avoid doing it yourself and relegating it to someone else. But as I mentioned before, it doesn't feel like you're a child.

[sixam]

I've come to find that even in everything I've never been given a choice about, the most I can do is try to work with it. [ which is maybe a stupid take, or a mature one, whichever you might prefer. because yeah, being an adult means doing things you don't want to do all the time, and jonas has been in that cycle since he was much younger than he is now. there's really nothing to do to break it either. ]

Maybe there are things that aren't fair and they're thinking I'd like to fix. But until I figure out how to do that, I handle them as best as I can. Irritating or not.

[refractures]

[ Seo smiles at that. Oh, he'll miss these conversations with Jonas so much when he dies. ]

You know what you would be great at, Jonas? You should look into being an advisor if you ever need a good paying job.

[sixam]

[ until we meet again seo... ]

You think so? [ he does not talk about how he has a permanent gig. ] Maybe. I think I just like listening and helping people figure things out. It was half of why I liked having my bar.

[ it was always about the conversations. ]

[refractures]

[ His permanent gig being God? I mean. ]

... I hope you keep that mentality for a long, long time.

[sixam]

I'm going to do my best despite what everyone else says. [ but... ]

You sure I can't get you anything before I leave you to rest up?

[refractures]

Despite...?

[ WHO IS BOGGING JONAS DOWN???

But he seems to consider for a bit before answering. ]

... No, I'm fine. Thanks for coming to visit.

[sixam]

[ not my double icons. anyway dwbi ]

Despite other people's best efforts. But you just kinda... learn to funnel it out. [ but he bows his head. ] Don't thank me for something like that, but you're welcome. We'll catch up again when you're feeling a little better, okay?

[refractures]

Sure. See you later~

[ lol ]