jonas / allstarz

[refractures]

fishes out my dissertation about how these two are so funny in juxtaposition

Comments

[sixam]

[ turno... i suppose they are both now just staring at each other like this and feeling the other person out. ]

I was. [ what a fun question. ] And God was there, yeah. Wouldn't be Heaven without one, right?

[refractures]

What was the entity like?

[ Seodore seems very curious about this in particular... ]

[sixam]

[ he should have expected this, but he still seems to be trying to gauge this... ]

You could just ask her. You live with her.

[refractures]

Hm? Alex? I did ask her something about it before, but it didn't really go anywhere...

[ that, and he's not sure how to treat her ]

[sixam]

[ there's a thin smile to that. ]

Depends on how you ask, and if she likes you. [ he's mad at her, but he is the certified alex whisperer unfortunately. ]

... what's there to say? She thought it was a fun game, and she got in through a backdoor because a double-agent sneaked their way in to help her.

[refractures]

[ .......... ]

Huh?

[ He has no idea what Jonas is talking about. The cat headband falls a little to the front. Nya. ]

[sixam]

[ nya. ]

You asked about the entity. [ he is simply answering? ]

[refractures]

[ ... ]

I'm guessing there was an existence called "the entity"? I was talking about the god.

[sixam]

[ ... ]

You gotta be specific, man. The Entity is what everybody was calling the thing causing all the possessions.

[ YOU CAN SEE WHY HE WAS CONFUSED. ]

But yeah, uh, I guess entity's another word for God, huh.

[refractures]

It sure is~

[ He laughs a little. There, there. ]

Possessions? I assume that's how the murders started in heaven for most people, huh.

[ Most. Not all. Sometimes you just want to kill regardless of where you're at. ]

I guess you weren't affected by them directly?

[sixam]

Yeah, you're right about that. Murders were never meant to be a part of Heaven, but when the possessions started it became a problem we had to solve before it got even further out of hand.

[ he sees that this is a little like fishing though, so he shakes his head. ]

I was never possessed or anything, no. But I did lose friends because they were killed.

[refractures]

You got them back, so that's nice.

[ Though he knows there is trauma of dying at least once for the uninitiated. Would have been Jacopo if he isn't what he is right now probably. ]

Did it make you want to treasure your friends some more?

[sixam]

Yeah. Not getting them back wasn't an option for me. [ for a variety of reasons. ]

Saying it that way makes it sound like I didn't treasure them before. But yeah, you could say that. They weren't gone for long, and we were able to write letters, but... they still had to go through some pretty terrible things I never wanted for them. That's something I can never fix for them. So all I can do is remember them and hope that the next time I'll likely see them I owe them something better.

[refractures]

Oh, no. You seem like the kind who would treasure your friends even in normal circumstances. It just affects you differently when you lose them again, and again.

[ He assumes many people were killed and odds are, some were his friends. ]

Did you feel obligated that you had to fix them? What a good heart you have...

[sixam]

It got a little easier after a while once we knew where our dead were being held, but it didn't change that the thing happened. And that some of my friends cost the loss of some other friends. But... it happens.

[ he stares at seodore for a few moments, and there's an upturn of his lips briefly then. ]

I don't know if it's just about having a good heart. But... it feels like you may have more to say about that?

[refractures]

Mm. No? Not really. Perhaps if you were a little more naive, I would tell you that you can't fix people if they don't want to be fixed, or that it's not your responsibility to take on the task of fixing all your friends.

[ It seems Seodore thinks Jonas is already aware of it to an extent, so that's why he didn't say all this before. He chuckles a little. ]

It doesn't feel like that I'm talking to an 18-year old in a conversation with you. The other 18 year olds I knew were nothing like you. It's not a terrible thing. Sometimes, it feels that you're forced to think these things, whether you like it or not.

[ "Some people grow up too fast." ]

[sixam]

[ this is correct. jonas is aware of that to an extent, and he knows he can't fix everything or be the one to change people. and yet in some cases, he does task that responsibility to himself. sometimes he is faintly aware he may be a morality leash, but only subconsciously, really.

which is why he simply nods to the first bit before deciding to address the rest of what seodore says. ]

The only person I can fix is myself, and by doing that, I can only hope it's enough for other people. [ first and foremost. ] I can wish the best for other people, and I can do everything I can to try and steer them the right way, but I can't make the choices for them and I can't change them if they don't want to or think they can.