refractures | jonas / allstarz

[ Seodore regains his regular expression, trying to fight back against the sourness in his mouth. ]

Haha, it's just what I remembered it to be~ really sour! The alcohol and sugar try to balance it out, but whew.

[ So Jonas did pretty good in making it. ]

Thanks! Brings back old memories. Want something in return?

[ That be an item, information, etc... ]

Glad I can live up to standards then. If I ever get actual ingredients to do it right I'll let you know. [ he is pleased. ]

I didn't get paid that much back where I'm from, but people used to offer me trade secrets. Things about themselves, things about other people. I like hearing about it. Why don't you tell me something about you that a person might not know just from our passports?

[ who is seodore. ]

That's what a bartender does, huh? Information age has always been here no matter the time.

[ Seodore thinks though. Nothing from the passport... He is usually allergic to talking about himself, but he'll make a few exceptions. ]

I had siblings, but I don't remember them.

[ He doesn't seem put out by the fact. ]

I never had any close connections with them either, so it's like I never had siblings to begin with. When I watch children with siblings interact, it's fascinating. They love and hate each other but don't truly abandon one another in a time of need. Like a "I'm the only one allowed to make fun of you" sort of thing.

[ ... ]

But I know that's not always the case for every family. It's something I've seen that's common in a "normal" household.

You're not wrong. [ and he seems content with that, and he almost thinks of saying it doesn't have to be big. jonas just wants to get to know people better overall, because it's better than exposing more about himself he's not ready for.

on the other hand this feels like an extremely targeted attack. his expression doesn't shift much, more erring to the side of curiosity than anything but there are some thoughts going on behind his eyeballs. ]

A lot of the time, siblings are the ones who have the most shared experiences in a house. They grow up together, they're raised in the same environment, they're exposed to the same things... it's probably natural for them to gravitate to each other. Like yeah, siblings fight, but then you have the ones who are basically best friends. Maybe because they feel the need to be each other's biggest support or because they just have personalities that work. And anyway what's the point of being close if you're not the only one who gets to make fun of them?

Not that I have siblings, but just... observations. [ ahem. ] Do you think that's something you might've wished for? A closer connection when you did remember them.

No.

[ The answer is immediate. ]

I'm not curious about what they've been up to nor their current status. Whatever they do has nothing to do with me now. I would rather keep them out of my life than welcome them back in. If I didn't have a close connection beforehand, it never showed before I left, so it's better off that way.

Fair enough. Some people just shut the door before they even noticed. Can't blame a person who doesn't want to deal with late attempts or anything either. So it's more a curiosity seeing how it happens for other people. Observations.

[ hm... ]

Do you at least have other connections?

From the past? No. I have work connections, but I doubt that's what you want to know. Besides, I had a family of my own, and that's fine...

[ His voice trails off when he realizes that he spoke too much for his standards. ]

Who am I to judge what people decide to say? [ re: what he does and doesn't want to hear? this bitch rambles so often without giving any real deep information half the time. ]

..."had"? [ it's gentle prompting, because he's not going to pry into a stranger's life but sometimes people say things they need to say without realizing it. ]

[ Seodore ponders a little, but. Yeah? Jonas is a good listener and it feels weird being on this side of the conversation for once. He raises his hand to brush against one of his long earrings. ]

These look nice, don't they?

[ he takes a closer look, tilting his head slightly as he studies them. ]

Yeah. Some sort of heirloom, then? [ or maybe they contain the souls of your family? heaven has exposed him to so much weird shit. ]

[ They are unfortunately not angel's trumpets. ]

It was the last thing my husband gave me before he passed. It was originally his and were clip-ons, but I made them into real piercings.

[ So that he doesn't lose them. Wow, a normal story. ]

[ this is such a normal story but at the same time this is hilarious to me personally because jonas has such a vastly different view on this man than literally everyone else he has talked to. but he's quiet, and there's just a strange pause then. ]

They look nice on you. I'm sure he'd like knowing you held onto them, but... I'm sorry you lost him.

[ he's curious about how long it may have been and how seodore feels about it, but it's not his place to ask. but he does at least get the sense that he should maybe offer something in return, so he lifts up the gold ring dangling from a chain around his neck for him to see. ]

My mom's. I... didn't like the idea of it just sitting in a box somewhere, so I wanted to keep it after she died. I know it's not totally the same, but I kinda get it.

[ surely it can't be because of (redacted)...

Seodore was about to add something to that, but he holds himself back. He can maybe save that for another conversation, or perhaps he won't mention it at all with how tight-lipped he is, but his affection comes in different forms.

He looks at the gold ring and slightly tilts his head. ]

Is that her marriage ring?

[ Or some other sort of heirloom, as Jonas mentioned before? ]

[ what are your secrets, sir...

either way jonas feels like he got enough from that that he won't mind if seodore goes tightlipped again, because he figures he can always bug him another time. a trade for a trade, just like always. ]

Yeah, it is. [ there's another pause while he sort of looks at the ring himself. ] My dad got remarried recently. Not even a year later.

[ as an explanation for why he has it and his father doesn't, maybe. ]

[ He has too many.... dunks him into the ocean ]

I see.

[ He thinks a year is enough time to get remarried for others, but he personally can't understand. ]

Did you wish he hadn't?

[ fishes him out and shakes him upside down so they fall out.

but wow, this is a question. normally, jonas can shut up and try to see the best for people and roll with the punches of everything. it had been something he did the first time, pretending to be happy about his father's new marriage and their move to a new house to live with his new family, but... it's been almost a year since then, too, since he died and had time away from it. ]

I don't think my opinion really matters much when I wasn't around in the first place. [ he was still very much alive during that part though. ] ... I'm glad he's happy. But it wasn't even a year later.

[ so yeah, kind of. he feels like it was way too fast to just move on so immediately. ]

Well, if your opinion didn't matter, I wouldn't have asked for it.

[ But he'll spare Jonas in asking again, because the answer seems apparent with that statement.

Mostly because he'll ask something else. ]

You told me that you like getting to know people before you decide your opinion on them. Did you ever want to ask your father about his decision?

[ that's a fair point, even though he'd also sort of meant he didn't think his opinion mattered much to his father.

this question is also a little unexpected, something he's not sure how to feel about. ]

Like I said, I'm glad he was happy. [ he will double down on that, because he has to keep telling himself this or he might just start feeling that resentment again of basically watching his entire life be upended and replaced. ] There's a lot of things I might've wanted to ask, but I don't think I was really in a position to ask. All I really know is he cashed out on some insurance policy, went on vacation across the country, met this woman and they got engaged and married really fast.

[ and there's a thin smile, followed by a soft shrug. ]

My dad and I weren't exactly on great terms either by then, but... we were trying. [ that's all he says, because that is also a lot to share with a stranger and he thinks it's best not to overshare without understanding or prompting. ]

[ Ah. Insurance policy for vacation money. He thinks he knows where that's going, and suddenly he feels like he understands Jonas's position a little more. ]

Trying is good enough.

[ Like telling him all this without getting too into it. ]

If you don't feel comfortable explaining it, you can just opt to say yes or no next time.

[ he could elaborate and explain it felt like a huge slap in the face when he'd spent the several months prior to that watching his mom die slowly, and then his dad left without him. he doesn't though, because it's not really something he thinks seodore will find relevant and jonas for all that he likes listening to people and has gotten good at talking through their problems is still someone who decides his own are things for him to deal with himself.

so yeah, the little line of tension that had subconsciously built in his shoulders drops and he laughs under his breath. trying is good enough, until it isn't. ]

Figured this makes us even for now, don't you? A few explanations for a few explanations.

[ hey Jonas dad... what the fuck

Seodore smiles a little. ]

Personal information trading, is it? Well... I guess I don't hate it coming from you.

[ if we only knew. ]

It's all a part of my job, you know. Bartenders are good secret-keepers.

jonas / allstarz

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